Wedding guest asked to leave when blacklight turns her dress into a banned color during the reception: 'I wore a dress that looks white under a black light'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Nov 13, 2024 12:00 PM EST

You don't wear white to a well-lit or naturally-lit normal wedding. Apparently, you also don't wear yellow to a blacklight wedding either—so says this bridal party who asked a guest to leave after declaring her yellow dress to be inappropriate under the chosen ambient lighting.

While we've read about some ridiculous situations where wedding guests have worn what might-as-well-be wedding dresses to their friend's or family member's wedding affairs, I think it's fair to say that this is not one of those situations. Of course, if you were a bee or a butterfly or some other creature that can see the ultraviolet spectrum, you might be able to be willingly held accountable for wearing such a color. 

I thought blacklights were pretty cool, too, when I was a teenager, but I can't imagine having blacklights for such an event as a wedding now. Still, accusing someone of not anticipating the lighting of the wedding reception is strange and petty, especially when the bride herself didn't seem to care.

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    Image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Image is for illustration only and subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing to leave a wedding because I wore a dress that looks white under a black light? A few months ago I attended a close friend's wedding with my husband. I wore a YELLOW dress. Think like Belle in Beauty of the beast yellow. Bumble bee yellow. So yellow that I did not question if it was appropriate or not to wear to a wedding and neither did my friends nor family.
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    I arrive at the wedding, we have the ceremony, the cocktail hour, the dinner and the reception. I get many compliments on the dress and the bride even comments on how much she loves it several times.
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    Towards the end of the reception the venue dimmed the lights and turned on some blacklights. These blacklights made my dress appear more white than yellow.
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    A member of the wedding party approached me while the blacklights were on and stated that I needed to leave because my dress was "white" and "inappropriate." I stated that the dress was yellow but the blacklights were making it appear white. The member of the wedding party stated that if i didn't leave she would "make me." I stated I'm here to
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    celebrate my friend, repeated that the dress was yellow and said I will not be leaving early (bride and groom hadn't left yet and I came from overseas). The conversation while heated, did not have raised voices or foul language from either side. But I will say it was tense.
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    The wedding party member walked off and I watched as they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction. The groom shrugged and continued to dance.
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    The next morning I was approached by a different friend at breakfast (not in the wedding party) who stated that they heard what happened and that I should have left when asked because it made people "uncomfortable" and that I made it about me "partying" rather than "respecting wedding etiquette."
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    I have felt incredibly embarrassed about this since....so am I the al h le for not leaving the wedding when asked? TLDR: Wore yellow dress that looked white under black lights. Was asked to leave by a member of the wedding party. Didn't leave. Told I made others uncomfortable by a friend the next day.
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: 1. I remained at the wedding after being requested to leave by a member of the wedding party. 2. I might be the a hole because instead of graciously leaving I remained firm in my choice to stay despite possibly making others uncomfortable or breaking the social norm of wearing "white" to a wedding.
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    Ducky818 · 10h ago • NTA. Who checks their attire under black lights to see if it "passes"? Ridiculousness. I understand if it appeared white under normal lights but c'mon, this was an unusual situation at the end of the reception. You are fine and whomever approached you was completely and utterly out of line. Some people have nothing better to do than look for problems that don't exist.
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    sugarsyrupguzzler • 10h ago • NTA. Did the bride even care? Sounds like friends making pointless drama considering they went to the groom, not the bride. And if the bride cared, the groom would have known. You might give the bride a call and explore. If she was offended, apologize and explain. It's up to her to accept or not. I mean, it's not like your dress was white during the ceremony.
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    diminishingpatience • 10h ago • NTA. The dress was yellow. the bride even comments on how much she loves it several times. they immediately went to talk to the groom, angrily pointing in my direction. The groom shrugged and continued to dance. They are the only people whose opinions matter.
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    A member of the wedding party approached me while the blacklights were on and stated that I needed to leave No. Not that person's decision.
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    CoverCharacter8179 9h ago • NTA, the people who are worried about this need some actual problems in their lives. Pro tip: When they turn the lights down and put a black light on, the "wedding etiquette" portion of the evening is over and it's about partying.
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    Avlonnic2 • 9h ago. Let me get this right. You came from overseas, investing quite a lot of money, to attend a wedding. The bride heartily approved your attire. Then someone decides to change the lighting and you are treated like that? And the bride/groom didn't put an immediate stop to their incredibly r de wedding-party-attire-police? Unacceptable on the part of the bride and groom. You are owed a huge apology. NTA.
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    specialdelivery88 • 9h ago • Nta although there is etiquette in this situation. It would have been better to strip to your underwear for the rest of the night
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    dystopiadattopia • 9h ago. I have a feeling that "others" was the person who complained.
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    Sandals Resort 9h ago • • NTA but I am curious who the member of the wedding party was? The future SIL of MIL of the bride that wanted to start drama. Or maybe the attention seeking friend with a hero complex? I also find it funny that this dress was a problem at a wedding where the BRIDE and GROOM were fine with it.
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    Someone You Dont Know70 10h ago . NTA. You wore a yellow dress. It's not your fault that they decided to replace the lighting with black lights. The offended party should have left because she was the one making you and the groom feel uncomfortable. She's the one who disrespected wedding etiquette, not you. Even the groom had no problem with it.
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    Active-Anteater1884 • 9h ago • NTA. Look, if the bride had asked you to leave under these circumstances even that would have been totally inappropriate. But here you have some lunatic bridesmaid who's gleaning her sense of self worth from playing wedding fashion cop. And your friend who commented otherwise is an idiot. NTA
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    Signal_Bench_707 • 10h ago • This is by far the stupidest wedding incident story I have ever read. NTA
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    Extra_Ad8939 10h ago. • NTA i'm glad you stood your ground. If it was a direct problem the bride or groom would've made it known to you but as you said they already stated they liked your yellow dress. The wedding party member that approached you made it a problem for whatever reason but you're fine tbh.
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    Bunny_Bixler99 Part NTA ipant [1] • 10h ago • "The next morning I was approached by a different friend at breakfast (not in the wedding party) who stated that they heard what happened and that I should have left" I would have replied: like your teeth, the dress was YELLOW
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    • Armadillo_of_doom 10h ago • NTA After the honeymoon I'd reach out to the bride and apologize for how white the dress looked under blacklight, and say you had no idea blacklights would be used or you would have worn a different color. When she acts confused, tell her who started drama. She'll sort them out.
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    • buttercupgrump 10h ago • NTA It sounds like the bride and groom had no issue with your dress. Since it was their wedding, their opinion matters more than some uppity bridesmaid.
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    Ne New_Improvement9644 • 10h ago. The bride liked the dress and told you several times. When told your dress was white under the blacklights, the groom shrugged and kept dancing. Next time someone says something, laugh...and if they say something again, laugh louder and longer.
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    brandndal 10h ago • • If I recall my black light days correctly, almost any lighter colored fabric would appear white under a black light.
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